What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

What is the scariest thing that ever happened in your life?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

HELLO

How do military families balance personal political views with respect for civilian leadership?

{RING} {RING}

Sure no problem officer.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

My grandmother deeded me her house before she passed last year. Her son still lives there refusing to move. What steps should I take to have him removed?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

How can I be okay with being ugly? What is the bright side?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Yes sir it is.

Has anyone been spanked by their parents after becoming an adult?

After a few moments he returns.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.